PUKING BUZZARDS TO THE RESCUE
Once upon a time I was home on an emergency leave due to my dad's illness. Diddy bopping over to the isle of Manhattan also known as The Big Apple, I suddenly grew very thirsty. Sporting my khaki uniform tailored down to that cool 14" peg which barely covered my boot tops, held in place by my blousing chains, brass gleaming, sunglasses on, dip in my c - - t cap I stroll into a gin mill. Lo and behold I realized my errant drinking ways had again got me in trouble because there stood 6 or 8 jarheads in their pretty blue western union suits. Natch they commence with derogatory remarks regarding my ancestry and my unit. They gather round me, and knowing I would catch a beating anyway, craftily doffed my cap, in which I had 2 silver dollars sewn under the glider insignia (merely to make it stand out you know) and back handed one gyrene in his chops. I am happy to report that before they commenced to beat me blind, I noted that I had split both his fat lips and chipped a tooth. When what to my shining black wondering eyes should appear but 9 or 10 101st Airborne troopers (they were on pass from West Point where they helped train future officers). They immediately were kind enough to explain to the marines their errant ways and pulverized them. Many months later shining my boots in Germany, trooper tells how him and his buddies, saved an 82nd guys bacon in New York City. Tell him that was me. Off we go we round up 5 other guys who were now in the 504 and had come to my rescue. Many beers were downed willingly at my expense and many a laugh was had as my puny efforts vs. the marines was highly exagerated.
Lou Schreiner
101st Airborne
Observations On "Hell I Quit"
The following is the gist of an email my buddy Jerry Ray sent me. I have to agree with him now and most certainly way back then. As he says his class in jump school lost about 50% of the trainees, that is about what mine lost. Back then that was the usual figure, which is another reason why those wings made us so damn proud. He notes that quite often it wasn't the little guys that quit first but usually the muscle men. I add to that the big mouths. He rightfully observed that not just in jump school but throughout our time in the paratroops it was constantly stresed you don't quit. You drive on. You go all the way. Once more he is right because he realized somewhere along the road that if we went to war and were dropped we would be on our own and could only count on ourselves and our buddies. At most you might get an airdrop but until the mission was over and you were relieved it was just us. As he states when you hit the ground your front line would more than likely be 360 degrees all around the clock, and you had to carry on regardless. That is why the paratroops were so harsh on quitters, we could not afford them. That is why they were banished to Korea which was then considered a hard tour of duty. Many times we were pushed to the nth degree but were always expected to drive on. Any member of an elite unit not just paratroopers by any means, will tell you that when you think you can't do anymore, you can always reach down deep in your being and find you can do more. This was a lesson I learned and has stood me in good stead after I left the service and the same holds true for Jerry.
Jerry Ray 1/504 as told to Lou Schreiner
Former comrades in arms Buddies for life.

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The Allied Rival Troopers
In the airborne we always felt we were a cut above the rest. Furthermore each airborne division felt it was the best. Battle groups all felt they were the best, companies felt they were better then the others, platoons were better than the the other ones, and squads were the same.
101st called us Almost Airborne, for the AA on our patch. We called them, Puking Buzzards, I feel I coined the phrase Simple A - sed Seagulls. The guys at 3rd Army with the airborne tab were gene Autry's Flying "A" Ranch hands. 18th Airborne Corp were refered to as Kukla's Krew, or other play on words regarding their dragon insignia.
Sometimes fists would fly usually due to high spirits rather than actual animosity. But whenever push came to shove if a trooper saw a trooper with his back against the wall it mattered not what division, battle group, or what have you he was in because he had those wings and jump boots and the rivals would ally themselves win, lose, or draw. Naturally once whatever had caused this alliance was put aside so that we could all get back to deriding the other guy's unit. An example of what I mean was at the top of this page.
Lou Schreiner
Mr. Airborne- Sgt. Burns Jump School N.C.O.
There are quite a few men of all ranks who in my humble estimation could be called Mr. Airborne. One who can readily claim that title is Sgt. Burns. He was a big man, heavily muscled, maybe 6'6", 240 or so. He may have been smaller but he looked like a giant to us. He was a standing tall black N.C.O. of the old school. His voice was a deep rich bass tone and he could be heard clear across Fort Bragg never mind the jump school. Neither Jerry or I had him as a platoon Sgt. (thank you Lord) but you could not miss him. He always tried to find the men who were quitters and get rid of them while at the same time instill the airborne spirit in the rest of us. Jerry and I went to jump school at different times but both heard this routine that he must have used on every class.
He to some terrified trainee, Boy, you boy, do you love me? Guys would try to answer every way you could imagine, but somewhere along the line that fog horn voice would ring out, admit it boy you love me don't you. Then when he got the answer he wanted he would shout out, "SGT. BURNS KNOWS WHY YOU LOVE ME BOY. YOU WANT TO MAKE LOVE TO HIS BEAUTIFUL WIFE . THEN WHEN SGT. BURNS FINDS OUT HE WILL KILL YOU EVEN THOUGH HE LOVES YOU BOY, NOW DROP DOWN AND SHOW ME YOUR LOVE GIVE ME 50 GOOD OLD AIRBORNE PUSH UPS CAUSE YOU LOVE OLD SGT. BURNS SO MUCH BOY.
Lou Schreiner
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